french:

I’m so fucking weird
It’s like:
I’m the nicest rude person you’ll ever meet.
I don’t give a fuck about anything but at the same time, I care about a lot.
I hate people but I want to be everyone’s friend.
I hate myself but I’m completely fabulous.
I need help.

actionables:

I know a guy who didn’t realize he had an extra toe until he was 11

zackisontumblr:

i bet rhinos cant talk because they would make too many jokes about being horny

seabelle:

I can’t stand these fucking people with these fucking family window stickers on their cars a murderer is gonna come into your fucking house and you’re gonna try to hide your kids in the fucking closet and he’s gonna be like naw bitch I saw your fucking mini van I know you have six more kids where are they

animepresident:

the sims is a game i can play for like 3 days and then i don’t want to touch it for several months

beatlesblaine:

the price of a popcorn and soda at target: $1.99

the price of a popcorn and soda at the movies: an entire month’s rent and your first born child

rowrz:

when you out clothes shopping with yo momma & you just wanna go homeimage

leviathans-in-the-tardis:

you don’t realise how much tumblr has changed your view on things until you spend time with friends who don’t have tumblr and they say something and you’re just like

oh

suffocateing:

*walks out of exam*

well i was successfully able to bullshit every answer on the test so i think i did okay

sancly:

Eating spaghetti with a spoon is a horrible experience 0/10 would recommend

gameofthots:

goals:

  • money
  • money
  • money
  • hot body
  • dick
  • hot money
  • dick
  • rich dick
  • dick

-annoying:

me when listening to chandelier by sia

image

byvalour:

“I’d rather cuddles than sex”

then*

theme